I have really been thinking about life lessons lately, as my oldest son will be graduating from high school in a few weeks and I cannot help but to want to ensure that he is as prepared as he can possibly be to leave the nest.

I have found I have been doing a mental checklist… did I tell him this…does he know that…is he prepared to deal with… and the list goes on.

Yet, what I have found most helpful in what feels to me as last-minute parenting is to simply talk about leading his life.  And by leading, I mean being in the driver’s seat – making intentional and purposeful choices instead of being a passenger.

It is easy to let new circumstances and surroundings dictate much of what you will do.  Everyone is asking him what he will study and what he will be.  The point I made to him is that those are all important questions, but the most important one is not “what” he will be, but “who” he will be.  The “what” is answered with student, lawyer, psychologist. The “who” can be so many things, and as a mother, I hope will include: responsible, leader, dependable, spiritual, friend.

In leadership coaching, we are often tasked with helping an individual reach a specific result (i.e. become a better communicator, be more productive, improve strategic thinking), but at the core of any successful change, is the person’s desire and choice to make it. It is how each person aligns with “who” that guides their choices.

It is powerful to realize that as we make choices, each of us can think about who we are – who we aspire to be – to become more effective and more fulfilled.

When there is alignment between what we choose to do and who we choose to be, there is no limit to what we can achieve.